Read Proverbs 14:29 and Ephesians 4:25–31.

Anger has destroyed so many great relationships. As Christians, anger is a very complicated emotion. A lack of understanding or study of scripture can make you think anger is bad. I want to tell you something that you might not know. Anger is a very important emotion.

Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion? Meaning you feel something else first, like fear, sadness, loss, grief, shame, or lack of justice. When you cannot deal with those emotions or feel like they are out of your control, your brain shifts over to anger, anger makes us feel powerful. That energy surge gives us the false confidence we need to destroy rather than fix the problem. Before you know it, your brain has learned to skip over the other emotions and just go straight to the anger.

Anger is a great indicator that something is wrong. When you feel it, pay attention. First, step back, and give yourself space. Then, ask yourself what you really feel about the situation. You will find that you feel hurt or disappointed, out of control, marginalized. It could be any number of things. Third, and this is important, deal with those feelings. This is the hard part because you might not be able to change the situation. Sometimes you can, and sometimes you can’t. But you have to deal with the feelings and come to a resolution.

Anger has destroyed so many things. Today, know that you are not powerless. Take the time today to examine the anger you feel and use the power of the Holy Spirit to help you make wise decisions to bring those things to resolution. I know it may take you more than a day to deal with these feelings. You may even need to talk to a Pastor, counselor, or wise friend. But please start. You will be glad you did.


Father, today give us the courage to face our anger. Give us the wisdom to see things we have not been able to see before. Help us to know what to do. In your mercy, will you lead us to the right people for help? Lord, give us the faith and grace to forgive and the humility to seek forgiveness. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.