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Over, Under

Posted by Trey Mixon on

If you’re anything like me, you tend to overestimate your abilities and the abilities of those around you. For instance, in high school, during the off season of our tennis team, we were lifting weights. Being the biggest male on the team, I thought it was my place to lift the most. I also felt that all the girls on the team were watching, boosting my confidence through the roof.

Now, if you know me, you know my strength does not match my build. If you don’t know me, here’s a quick rundown: I’m 6'3", with broad shoulders, and an overall large build. Notice, however, I did not say strong. Simply put, I’m no lifter. Needless to say, I dropped the weight. What’s even worse is that the weight I dropped was a puny 75 pounds. If you’re anything like me, you overestimate your abilities when the spotlight is on you.

I wish I could say that I came back the next day and lifted that 75-pound bar with ease, but I was too embarrassed to lift again. To this day, five years later, I still haven’t lifted. I wish I could say that the experience had caused me to rationalize my abilities, but I can’t say that either.

In life, on quite a few occasions, I’ve told God, “Don’t worry, I got this.” Time and time again, however, I drop the weight. Whatever my goal or dream, I’ve failed. I try to live my life by myself, under my direction, with my worldly goals in mind, and I just fall short. If God were anything like my tennis coach throughout the four seasons I played, he would have given up on me. With how many times I’ve said, “I can do it on my own,” you would think that rings true.

I can’t explain to you how overjoyed and thankful I am for the pursuit that God has put on for me. It never fails to amaze me how loving he is, how abundant his grace is, and the fact that he never stops chasing after me. Me, (and I’m assuming it may be the same for a few of you) who constantly turns my back, overestimating what I can do on my own.

I tend to overestimate myself, and underestimate God. This passage puts it into perspective for me:

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

— Psalms 139:17–18

I’m so glad that his thoughts of me are unable to be counted. That endless stream of grace, love, pursuit, it never changes.

For thus says the Lord GOD, "Behold, I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out
— Ezekiel 34: 11

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