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Learning to Lean

Posted by Blake Clickner on

As I was sitting on a bench at a camp in Oklahoma, I begin to feel a stirring in my heart and, before I knew it, I was in tears. I knew God was leading me to leave the church where I was serving. I knew I didn’t want to leave, and the more I prayed and asked God to make it clear that I was supposed to leave, the more confident I was that he was calling me away. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have a job lined up. I didn’t even know about any churches hiring. All I knew was that God told me to go.

Not long after that, my wife asked if she could put in some applications to teach in the Dallas area.  I was fine with it but, after only two days, she had an offer from Forney ISD to teach math. At that point, I was still asking God, “Are you sure?” And yet again God made it even clearer that we were to leave and go to Forney. That was one of the hardest times for me, personally. I was leaving students that I loved, I had no job, which made me feel like a failure of a husband, and I had no ministry.  I felt as if I may have been missing out on my calling.

I was fearful, worried, prideful and not trusting God, but — as God always does — he came through in a way that far exceeded anything I could have dreamed. During that time, I learned to lean on God more instead of leaning on my own plans. I began to pray more for his will to be done, because going through that time helped me take on other parts of my life, simply knowing his provisions had surpassed my expectations completely.

I’m not sure what causes you to fear or worry, but what I do know is that you have a loving Father who wants to bless you and, even in your fear, he wants to teach you to lean into him. Why do we fear the unknown as believers? (I ask myself this all the time.) If we truly believe what the scripture says about God, then we have nothing to fear.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 4:6-7

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
— Matthew 6:25-26

I had a lot of fears and worries, but God had a plan the whole time for me. He brought me here to a church that I love and a staff that I love to serve beside. I have seen God do so much through this body of believers and have seen so many lives changed. I know that the plans that I had for my life in Oklahoma fell very short in comparison to how God has blessed me here!

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