When I accepted Christ into my life at the age of 12, there were a lot of emotions. Then life happened, those emotions faded, and I no longer lived in a way that was obedient to God.
When I rededicated my life to Christ at age 19, there were a lot of emotions. Then life happened, those emotions faded, and the burnout started to settle in. I no longer desired to read the Bible or pray. The things that once brought me so much joy now seemed liked chores to check off the list. I felt like a bad Christian. I started to doubt my faith.
I began pouring in to what I believed were “good works” of the Lord: leading youth, volunteering at the church, going on mission trips and attending various church events. I took the verse “faith without works is dead” (James 2:17) and ran with it, because I thought I had to prove something, not to the Lord, but to myself. Doing good works gave me drive. It made me feel productive and good about myself. If I worked for God, maybe that would rekindle some emotion that I thought I’d lost, and reassure me that my faith had not dried up.
However, it had the opposite effect in my spiritual life. The more I poured out, the more burnt out I felt. A wise woman once told me, “We don’t worship God because it makes us feel good. We worship him becomes he deserves it.” “How humbling,” I thought. How selfish of me to have thought otherwise. He deserves to be praised! Here I was, complaining about not feeling anything, as if God would only know that I love him if I cried every time I worshiped him.
God does not need more from me. He doesn’t need anything from me. I need more from him. How can I expect to do his will if I’m not in his Word? Everything I need to know about who he is and what he wants in my life is in there!
If you want more in your life from God, start by being in his Word.
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
— Joshua 1:8–9